She's Not as Crazy as You Think
by Lyra Dogstar
Summary: Sort of like an overview of my version on the Black family. But really is worth it, since my version isn't typical, whatsoever. Rated PG13, cause I'm not sure if things in the notes are completely appropriate.


Mrs. Apolonia Black was senile. Everybody could see it. One of the earlier signs was when she had named her twin sons. She now lived with her oldest, Saturnine, after her husband had died. She wasn't considered dangerous by any means. She sat in her rocking chair in the sitting room, humming quietly to herself.

She had three sons and a daughter. Her oldest, Saturnine, was now married to Angeline, and lived in a mansion in London. He was the head of what was the most respected wizarding families in England, and worked as a Junior Minister, in the Ministry of Magic. He had two sons. Sirius and Regulus.

Then came her twins. At the time that she named them, people thought she was simply eccentric. They were Alphard and Alphred. Alphard, the oldest, was married to a certain Elladora, and had three daughters, Andromeda, Narcissa, and Bellatrix.

Alphred was still a bachelor, and an awful man. He was lecher and a drunk. After Bella's visit when she was twelve years old, she was forbidden to ever see him again.

Lavinia was the youngest in the family. She was considered the family jewel. She had been married for two months, before her husband was murdered, during one of her many visits to Saturnine's house. Two years later, she was still a virgin.

Apolonia's oldest grandchild, Andromeda, was a smart woman. Twenty years old. She was currently being courted by a muggleborn, against her parents' approval. However, they figured it was just a phase, and didn't worry about it.

Next in line was Narcissa. Eighteen years old, and just married. It was an arranged marriage to Lucius Malfoy, who had been waiting for six years for her to finish school. It was a smart match for Alphard and Elladora.

Bellatrix and Sirius were the same age, two month apart. Bella was a lovely girl, just blooming at the age of twelve. One of the top in her class, and powerful to boot. Nobody messed with her, and in turn, she didn't mess with anybody. If anybody _did_, they often ended up in the hospital wing.

Sirius was also the top of the class. It had been a scandal when he had been sorted into the wrong school house, but Angeline was able to overlook that, for the sake of her first-born son and heir. He was mischievous, with a dark side that not many saw.

Regulus was the baby in the family. He was clever, but rather charmingly naïve. As much as everybody tried, nobody could resist giving in to him. Not to say that they didn't all try, most of all Sirius. _He_ hadn't even been sorted into the school house that his mother expected, but they put up with him being a Ravenclaw. Angeline didn't know what she would do if he became a Death Eater and got harmed anyway.

So there you have it. The current, living members of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black. Toujuors Pur.

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Author's notes: I didn't expect the fic to end up like this. But I think I rather like it.

A few notes about the names. First, Alphred and Alphard. Alphred came out of a fic that I wrote, and I forgot that Sirius had an Uncle Alphard. So I made them twins with ridiculously similar names. Which made me think, that mother would have to be crazy. So to hear more about Alphred, look at my fic named after him.

Saturninius was the emperor in Titus Andronicus, and at times called Saturnine. He liked to seem powerful, and perhaps was at times, but in reality his wife was the matriarch in the family. That seemed to be the case in the Black household, so I used it.

Lavinia was also a character in Titus Andronicus. She got married to Saturninius' brother, Bassianus. She was still a virgin when Bassianus was killed by the Queen's sons, Chiron and Demetrius. I don't know if I'll give her the same fate as the original Lavinia, who got raped, and her tongue and hands cut off. I don't really think I'm _that_ mean.


End file.
